work july
alrighty. it's back to work =)
just had 2 meetings today.
i thank the Lord for all his blessings, giving me great advisers and colleagues.
i thank the Holy Spirit for His wise guidance in my daily life and work.
my advisers were quite comfortable with my work, and decided to extend my internship.
yay! i'll not be rendered unemployed. Glory be to God forever!
whatever i achieved would not have been possible because of God's grace.
yes, call me weak but i pray every day before i start my day.
Liz is back from Sydney. think she will be finding an internship soon too,
probably she's going back to Earnt and Young Auditing.
hope to catch up with her soon.
no, i am not trying to match make her with Ryan.
whatever would happen would happen in God's good time and in accordance to His will.
i just came back from Koh Samui.
went with Josh over the weekend.
i was terribly sick on the way there.
headache, cough and sore throat.
seen a doctor and bought medication but doesn't work immediately.
zzz once i reached the villa.
zzz for the whole next day till 2.30pm.
didn't get to dive, snorkel, hike, swim in the pool or even island hop.
bloody weather was so blazing hot i chose to stay indoors in my air con villa.
don't wanna get a bad headache...
Josh went to rent a car so we could drive a round.
that was the nicest part of the vacation comparatively.
had the freedom to drive around, stop where we wanted to,
return anytime we wanted to.
the food was quite good generally.
except for this Pisces 99 seafood restaurant right opposite the Central Beach Resort.
total rip off place! must throw rotten fish at them!
okay, i didn't enjoy myself.
how to enjoy myself when i am sick?
thankfully Josh was alwiz by my side to take care of me, to cheer me up and cuddle me.
Josh, thanks for everything. sorry i spoilt your vacation.
Vivien Tan
a sweet finale to a lousy vacation. Josha and the babelicious Vivien Tan =) yes, she was the Citibank girl as well as a host for a few lifestyle programs over the years. i wanna touch her hair!!!
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ksm airport
Koh Samui airport. yah lah, just like that lah! what you expect? a building? no lor! just a hall with wooden chairs. hawaiian style man! but they're quite efficient.
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Lamai scenic point
this was another shot at the Lamai beach or was it Ban Hua Thanon? nvm. it looks nice only coz the weather was good. haha. really.
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Lamai scenic lookout
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view from The Clift
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Honda Jazz
our rented Honda Jazz. auto car. quite good to drive.
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eat drink smoke
josh is alwiz eating, drinking and smoking. this was at The Cliff.
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The Cliff
me at The Clift Mediterranean Restaurant. fantastic cliff view! the lagoon below us belongs to Samui Yatch Club. private beach with very few people. lovely!
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chaweng beach
chaweng beach. this is during off peak season when we went. from 9th July onwards till Sept, it's peak season. tourists came on plane hoards to this island to escape summer and winter from both hemispheres. consequences? you can't find an empty space to tan, everything's expensive due to peak season prices and it'll just be really rowdy.
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Eat Sense toilet
Eat Sense has a cool dark lovely toilet. very clean and very poshly furnished. fully air con toilet! can u believe that? i could just sleep in there and escape the dreadful mid day sun...
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boutique dog
this dog has a good life. he sleeps in this up-market fashion boutique and gets fed with good food too. along Chaweng's main shopping street.
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Eat Sense Restaurant
this was at Eat Sense Restaurant. ermm.. the food was not bad. all thai food like fried pineapple rice, green vegetable curry and squids stuffed with minced pork. except portions were really small. but the view was good. it's right there at the beach along the Chaweng stretch. you cold eat, sip coconut drink and ogle at babes in bikinis and old fat bald ang mos all at once.
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rainy evenings
when we want to just go for a walk, it rains and rains and .... rains. so we decided to just sit around at Black Canyon coffee joint.
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purple ixora
i have never seen purple ixora before.. only seen red and yellow ones. cool!
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pisces 99
dinner at Pisces 99. total rip off! ok, only the fish and the mussels were quite nice...
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central samui village bathroom
our villa's bathroom. complete with sun roof and plants while you bath.
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central samui village's villa
this was our villa with garden view. fully aircon with limited channels cable tv.
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this is my favourite song. a tribute to Linkin Park for their Numb / Encore.
together with Jay Z in 2004. thank you so much for the music!
thank you for expressing the entire of me, voicing out my frustrations,
and providing me with an avenue of love. God be with you!
Numb / Encore by Linkin Park
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface.
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes.
caught in the undertow
every step that I take is another mistake to you
just caught in the undertow.
I've
become so numb!
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware!
I'm becoming this!
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you!
can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you.
caught in the undertow
every step that I take is another mistake to you
caught in the undertow
and every second I waste
is more than I can take!
I've
become so numb!
I can't feel you there
become so tired!
so much more aware!
I'm becoming this!
all I want to do is be more like me
and be less like you!
And I knowI may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
with someone disappointed in you!
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you!
I've
become so numb!
I can't feel you there!
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be?
couch me in
i have a therapeutic couch.
i have a PINK therapeutic couch!
it is a comfortable 3 seater in my living room.
my small territory in my small living room.
it makes me happy when skies are grey,
more than anyone does.
it accepts me for who i am, what i do, or how heavy i weigh.
it takes me all in when i am totally exhausted.
watching tv on my couch especially silly chinese movies refreshes my tired soul.
i love my therapeutic couch =)
me. my beloved couch. my tv. my living room.
home sweet home. my home. my love.
such is life
falling sick.
gaining weight.
getting old.
losing sleep.
getting arrowed.
seeing disillusions.
failing memory.
aching shoulders.
squinting eyes.
working more.
burnt weekend.
greater stress.
headaches.
kinda deaf.
getting broke.
thinking heart.
KNN weekend....
Joshua say i thank the entire world except him.
here goes. thank you Joshua for everything you have done and being there always.
*kicks brown dog*
medicine
i had such a weird dream last night.
i dreamt i own a white colored Mini Pajero,
a fluffy white cat, and i have a medicine boyfriend!
i dreamt that i parked my mini Pajero outside NUH,
waited under the tree, and stroked my little white cat.
then my medicine boyfriend came.
after which we drove to NUS swimming pool.
which was packed with kids and colorful floats!
so scary, like public swimming pool.
the thing is this.
i don't know why did i drive a white mini Pajero,
coz i don't specially like Pajero. and i haven't seen white ones either.
i love white fluffy cats though.
ermm... medicine boyfriend? why medicine?
must be grandma's fault...
think i better take my medicine and sleep...
polaris
God will never abandons us, if we believe in Him.
i thank our Lord for the little blessings You bestowed.
God the Creator, i am so blessed to have Vincent as my tutor.
thank you Vincent for guiding me with patience and encouragement.
without your guidance, i won't have been able to shine in stats,
or have gotten inspiration for my current research work.
God the Holy Spirit, thank you for allowing Vincent to spend much for his time,
helping me lay ideas onto a feasible theoretical frame,
correcting my work and dispensing advices.
thank you so much. i will alwiz pray for Vincent wherever he goes.
you have been a wonderful inspiration.
yes, i will fight on and one day, be someone like you.
God the One Son, thank you for letting me witness perfection.
Vincent is warm, intellectual, supportive and comfortable to be with.
though he may be from AOG, he has proved true to the spirit of Christ.
thank you for sending me an opportunity to glimpse at perfection.
i will try to be Christ-like too.
may we grow into fruitful trees, strong in our biblical roots,
grow against adversity and bear healthy fruits.
liquids
what an eventful weekend or i thought imagines it was?
lemme recall what i did on Fri. u know what?
my memory is getting from bad to worse.
so is my eye sight. see?
1st few symptoms of 21st birthday's arrival.
welcome to Oldiesville =)
ok, i was working on Fri. stats processing it was.
ohh.... then i went to City Harvest Church with Josh.
hmmm.... alot of loopholes with regards to the sermon.
anyway, i shall remain non-judgemental here.
except with a word that they can be rightly categorised under 'prosperity religion',
where having an abundance of wealth and power is fine.
went Orch on Sat in the afternoon.
got myself a black tube top from Zara. yay!
purrfect for hip hop nites.
went to Zouk's Wine Bar and then Liquid Room with Qiao, Gabriel and Doggie.
we had a damn lame nite lah! very very enjoyable! should do this more often!!!
telling crappy jokes, feeding cats with Yoshinoya, bitching about people...
when we r normal, we tell the lamest jokes. outwit, out-do, outlast.
can't imagine what happens when we're high. Mt. La Mer's gonna erupt...
it's all Andy's fault for not passing over the Tobasco bottle to me...!!!
glad you guys enjoyed yourself anyway!
must alwiz go out and seek new places. see new people. and B-I-T-C-H!!!
except fot the last bit of seeing Eileen the Whale beaching up at Liqiud.
all's fun people!
came back at 1.30. zzz at 3am. hit till 12.30pm.
wow. this tells me something.
enought clubbing for this month. i am getting old.
old folks need ample rest. i slept like a baby. whoohoo!
time to plan some more subtle activities like a walk in the park.
Daddy dear!
Dear Daddy,
thank you for loving me. i am so blessed to have you as my Dad. to be my guiding light in the dark, my harbour from the storms. you have alwiz been by mu side, encouraging me in whichever choices i made. stubborn i was and bitter medicine i tasted. but you have never put me down. thank you for instilling in me confidence n a healthy dose of self esteem.
you're the best teacher. thank you for guiding me in my research work, advising me on tactful inquiry. thank you for the gracious patience you showered all these years while teaching me maths and physics. without your teaching, i won't have made it through those opposing forces, acceleration, pivots and angles. developing my talents in social sciences and arts, you have not let the Lord down in pruning me as a fruitful tree.
you're the best Earthling Daddy. you gave us the best you could provide. little presents of art materials and books, chocolates and wines. overseas trips you sponsored, joy flights you gave. tuition fees you paid. supporting me in my Christian faith at the end of it all. thank you and i love you the most. may God be with you till the end. lose no faith and trust in Our Heavenly Father. Amen!
Love,
Veen
a long walk
thank you for walking with me.
you don't know how much it means.
the road is long, gruelling and lonely.
i am thankful you are by my side.
every step has been a joy.
there will be this day when i leave for another city.
there will be this day someone else will come into your life.
there will be this day we each have our own families.
wherever i am, how long it has been we've been apart,
i will be praying for you.
yes, the Lord is with us. i thank you for keeping our faith.
may we meet in heaven and be in eternal love.
friends like you guys i could ask no more of.
close to my heart.
with you walking by my side,
i will be strong.
work week
work has been rather busy this week.
quite a few reports to rush, especially now both my advisers are going away.
so i'm pretty much on my own now =/
i really really don't want to search on the wrong track...!!!
for last 2 days, collected some stats, theories and publications,
gonna need process the figures and summarize findings.
yep, that's what i do for my job basically.
fitting findings to theories (or vice versa), seeing how they fit into the reality of Spore,
what's the correlating factors, analyze social structures such as age, education, parents, occupation, social class and how they affect religion (both atheist or conversion) etc etc,
and how these phenomenon has changed over time...
yes, this is what i do for even term period.
though it's mind boggling and a test of patience,
i enjoy my job alot =)
and maybe that explains why i am in social sciences.
many people said right in my face that i don't enjoy research work,
let me say i have proven you wrong.
it is a fun and enriching job,
if you are clear of what you are searching for and what conclusion you want to present.
i am sure Ryan had that experience too.
but of coz, i also love working in the Food & Beverage service industry.
firstly coz my family has a small business in it.
secondly i really enjoy meeting people, testing new products, marketing them
and ultimately, jus brew a good cup of cappucino or serve up a toasty chilled wine.
i miss Melbourne so much!!! those wineries there, good weather and vast acres of vineyards.
have been reading thesis on religion, education and occupational aspiration among Chinese teenagers in Spore. it was a thesis written in 1969.
the findings were that Protestant teens were the most driven bunch,
with the highest aspirations, aiming to be white collar middle-upper class and professionals.
(relate to Calvinist theory by Weber.)
Catholics were not as driven, but they were the most optimistic bunch.
as long as they have a secure job, can get by, they are happy people.
Buddhist are as driven as the Protestants, aiming to be white collar middle-upper class.
no-religion were not driven nor have high aspirations and believe in fatalism.
these are based on controlling factors such as both father and mother's religion; educational levels and social class. bear in mind that the sample was only 1500 teenagers from 12 schools.
however, it proved an interesting piece of work.
which brings me to this point, i will preferably marry a Catholic as compared to a Protestant.
especially an Episcopal Methodist.
religious denomination is more that just a doctrinal difference.
the church also has diffferent hierarchical structure or the lack of it.
different expressions of worship and thanksgivings.
fundamentally, religion is a lifestyle.
the way you coexist with others, how you live your examples, how to interact with non-believers,
how you bring up your children... all these are intimately intertwined with religion.
as much as Catholicism receives its teachings from the Vatican II,
here in Spore, most parishes accept liberal theology or they simply cast aside sensitive issues.
what is important is that, i like the Catholic way of life, of harmoniously interacting with non-believers or fellow Christians. unity in peace and love.
H2G2
watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with Jared last nite.
the movie was hilarious! a self-mockery at reality of life, explaining human life from physics terms..
arthur woke up to one morning where everything went wrong,
realizes his best friend is an alien and...
planet Earth was about to be destroyed to make way for an inter-galatic highway!!!
Marvin the robot with 'genuine person personality; (GPP) was so lovable!!!
thoroughly enjoyable! it was a wonderful nite =) thanks for everything Jared.
the movie adapted from the novel by Adam Douglas.
i read the novel back in 2000. well.. the movie was way easier to understand.
the novel was quite a.... mind boggling physics-mathematics text.
nway, there'll be a sequel!
The HitchHiker's Guide to the Restaurant At The End of the Universe! yay!
on the down side... as i mentioned before,
Jared does tell his ex-girlfriend about me, him and us.
he does tell her that he is going out for dinner with me etc.
he also told her our past and the present.
presently we are just normal friends, we share everything. happy or sad.
then Joshua said "and have you thought that it might have led to their break up?"
Josh thinks that perhaps it's because Jared and i are quite close friends;
his girlfriend may not have liked it;
and on top of that, Jared is someone who doesn't put effort into maintaining a relationship.
perhaps one of the reasons they broke up was because of us.
i have never thought of it that way. it being one of those small issues that break out.
Joshua thinks that i am going down the same path Jared took.
i don't put in effort into maintaining the relationship. i am insensitive.
i am still going out with Jared.
last nite, was the first time i went out with Jared without telling Joshua...
coz the nite before, he kicked a big fuss regarding me meeting Jared etc etc.
less than 24 hrs, i met Jared without telling him.
ok, my fault. oh so insentitive thatr i hurt his feelings.
Josh now thinks that he cannot trust me. the sacred trust is broken.
he doesn't know when i will go out with Jared behind his back,
or what i do with Jared when we are out. just can't trust me anymore.
Josh will like me to stop seeing Jared for awhile out of respect for him.
Josh no longer meets his female friends too.
but i did not ask him to do that! he can meet his female friends if he wants to!
i am not stopping him! it's a personal freedom.
the thing is, i am someone who guards my personal freedom and privacy very fiercely.
i have had enough of boyfriends who control what i do, where i go, who i go out with etc!
those people are jus low in self confident, high in suspicion and simply,
compulsive obsessive control freaks!
this is MY life. MY OWN LIFE. i have the freedom to go out with whoever i please.
call me stubborn but i treasure my friends. every single one of them.
i will let you know if i am going out with Jared. you can take my word for it.
but you have no reason to stop me from meeting him.
the truth is, i don't know what to say or to do now.
we tend to keep wearing the same colored shirts to school... such coincidence right? i bet joshua must have installed CCTV in my room... grrrr...
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paradise
though you're miles and miles away,
i see you everyday.
i don't have to try,
except to close my eyes.
every nite the stars spell out your name,
i only need to pray to Our Lord.
i pray so much, hoping that you'll be fine.
all i ask for is for your happiness and safety.
everytime when i see families and children,
silly as it seems.
you suddenly float into my mind.
then children seemed a wonderful gift from heaven.
family warmth i yearn for.
one to call my own.
i can't wait to see you again.
i miss you so much.
yes, we shall go shopping!
you're my tranquil paradise amidst the chaotic reality.
i thank God for blessing me with you.
you're really special.
